I recently have had lots and lots of time spent listening to our command chain. We start with the sgt and move all the way up to company commander. I LIKE our chain. The 1st sgt and commander are very smart, and nice. But when it comes to the military, i have a bone to pick.
MALES!!! uhg....there.
So in this situation, *Jim*(we will call him, he is very close to me) has done something that has had his wife *Sally* worried sick. He has dissappeared overnight. She has been relocated by the military to a place without family and has been told if she needs help to call sgt. so she does obviously!! Turns out he has relapsed back into abusing substances. All of a sudden the "help" she wanted turns into punishments. he cant do his job he is flagged, he is required to detox for 3 days in barracks(guarded by none other than Jims co workers) and then is sent to ASAP where they tell him, attend meetings!! His command is nice enough to understand and so when he tests positive on a UA they suspend his punishment and unless he messes up, it wont come into effect. That is (as understood by Jim and Sally) 14days xtra duty and restriction.
(first a little side rant) RESTRICTION TO BARACKS...why the F is this punishment for a married person with children. Send ME please!!!!
extra duty is good but WHO did he hurt, military or Sally? so WHO should he pay back? oh i dunno maybe....SALLY?
(anyways back on topic)
so he is perfect. attend meetings, goes to work, is a good husband and father to his two little children.
THEN..things get "boring" and someone ticks Jim off...eventually he relapses. Sally who learned her lesson before, only called sgts to ask if he was there. he wasnt. time goes by and he actually goes AWOL...WTF!!!! so we know where this is going. Lucky for Jim and Sally(sarcasm present) commander and legal adviser are on leave, and so in one day Jim has extra duty and restriction(yes for a substance abuser) and to top it off...they take RANK!
(another side rant) taking rank...who does that hurt really? the guy?? or the family? and if he is an abuser...he obviously doesnt care THAT much at the time about his family, so this teaches him what....?
(lets get him on post and make him our Bi*ch instead of letting him go home and serve his responsibilities there after xtra duty. nothing like taking away the wife's relief, babysitter, chore helper AND money.)
So, Chain of Command...all the way up to whomever needs to know...THANK YOU! your old fashioned rules and books certainly make sure unruly soldiers AND their wives are punished for any stupidity on the member's part.
(yes i know the other argument on their side, its understandable, i just think they need to remember the family more than what they THINK will work punishment wise)
Those rules make it hard to stay with a soldier. especially a young one.
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Awe Sarah, I am sorry. It sucks, the government IS his mom though and no - they dont usually think about the family when it comes to punishment because they assume if he is doing so wrong at work, he is at home also. And often it is safer for him to NOT be home around kids and a wife who will yell at him (any wife would!) because it will make the situation worse and will NOT be healthy for the kids, let alone their safety of someone who relapses is concerning. So even though there are more negatives than positives, it to shall pass. (hugs)
ReplyDeleteI think Sally needs to pack up and head home for a few months while JIM pulls his head out of his a$$. Sally has supported him so much through all of this and needs to think of herself, her own well being and her children. Pack it up and move on until he can prove he is the man he told Sally he was when he signed her marriage papers.
J sounds like a smart person w/ good advice. I only know what I've read here and snippits elsewhere-- but damn-- I really think "Sally" and the kids deserve better.
ReplyDeleteAnd I will never forget the saying my Dad has said many times: If the military wanted you to have a wife, they would have issued you one". Yep. 'Nuf said.