Trying to fend off the nightmares

It was supposed to be forever. It's what i intended and had in mind. Now why on earth was it not? It does not matter now. I will dictate my own life. I will not even run. I will face my fears. I will take the jump. I will find myself in the face of adventure. And i will write about it. 

Directions

So much i need to write about. Coming soon. 

No longer a military, soon to be no longer a wife!

Hi ya'll.
so i guess i should do a short catch up. Mark and I are splitting, he got discharged from military, he and i are "friends" (for the kids) and I am currently living with my parents...oh and so is he, yes MY parents. (ain't that sitcom worthy!)

There are lots of details i will spare you. But i will tell you that all is okay, i will find a way to support myself and children, and i will eventually find another companion. Maybe one I am better suited to, and vice verse.

Its kinda hard splitting up with someone who doesnt want to split up. I know i cant stay with him, but sometimes he makes me think he has failed to get that memo. Its sad, but its true, i have been "gone" for sometimes now(maybe even since July, maybe it never really was what it shoulda been) and its just time to move on.

or move back. i have a "maybe" option in the romance deptartment that scares me to death. It could mean the happiness of my dreams i've always dreamed, or the mutilation and suicide of all my hopes and dreams. I fear if i let it happen...it might be the last chance. do i want to use up that chance though. it wont be all peaches and cream, mind you, but it will be the reason for life if it worked. if it doesnt work, both and all parties involved will feel it like an earthquake. but i know if i never take the chance, i'll never love another like i should, none will ever work out like it could, and i fear the same for the other party. but how good it could be with a little work. lots of "what if's" time will tell. im in no hurry. nor will i make the moves...but damn what i would give to know the game plan of the other team!!!

i havent meant to not post, really!

so, its been a busy 4th of July weekend. how was yours? hmm, thats great! I'm glad you had a good time!

haha...NOT. ok im sorry but im one of those people, that every holiday SOMETHING bad or unfavorable happens to them, more so than usual. So dont go telling me HAPPY this, or MERRY that....its just another day!

there...*mumbles to self* (can we say scrooge? heh, but its how i feel)

I guess had we not recently got demoted, and lost our housing, had they not just decided to take away hundreds of dollars a month, then MAYBE i might feel like celebrating. Or if my husband actually grew up a little...

on the bright side, they got us a place on McChord. a 2bd 2bth duplex. fenced in yard, yadda yadda. oh well, its something. I just hope people come to playdates.

So the commander must want to see how much i will take until i leave mark, as he wouldnt sign a simple paper stating husband will get rank back in 90days, if we had that, we would have been on davis hill like we planned. BUT aparently he is none too happy...i wonder if he is single...LOL jk...no really....ha

marriage is for life (repeat as needed)

Do you ever wonder how far the marriage vows go...how bad is worse, and how good is better? Notice it doesnt say WORST. but how do you know when you get there? Im not there...yet. just grumpy

dollar tree meatballs = sponges that produce heartburn. (yes we went grocery shopping at dollar tree to save money) *ah, life as an E3*

things a military wife must have:

meds
back up bank account
Power of attourney(need to get that)
vehicle in own name
good marriage counselor
good money councelor
med happy doc
good sense of *do as your told*
Pink or rose colored sun glasses...
bottle of wine...or liquor(depends on your rank)
back up lawyer...helps if good looking!

haha im in such a *mood*

gonna go post pics of stuff to sell now... ta ta my fellow friends!

You know when you have to buy something for a PCS?

Like the Hitch so that you can pull your other vehicle behind you 36hours from san antonio to washington?

well. it just paid for itself.

i was waiting my turn to turn left to go visit mark, and i hear mark saying slow down, slow down, uh oh man, slow down!
(im like wtf? im NOT MOVING!)

BAM!

a car hits us. i pull over to the other side of road (of course that makes us miss our turn) and i proceed to work myself through the motions (turn off car, get wallet for info, QUICK SHUT THE DOOR AGAIN AND REMEMBER TO CHECK FOR CARS BEFORE GETTING OUT ON A BUSY STREET!)
we take a look...nothing, not a thing to our car. I said to the guy "ha YOUR LUCKY!" then i saw his...well ok WE'RE lucky. he rammed the car into the hitch producing a massive hole in his bumper.

The hitch's paint is scratched a wee bit.

ya...it paid for itself. But i was hoping for a new car.

The Military is not family friendly

My friend mentioned this earlier after reading my previous post, and got me thinking. She is right. As part of the military our job is NOT to raise families, it's to raise good little soldiers. (WHAT?? you say, why would you think that?)

Each time a large deployment is coming home, the wine AND even birth control and condoms go on sale. (oh but see they dont want them to get pregnant!) WRONG!! BC doesnt work if you drink, and Condoms...well guys dont like them, but they think it counts if they buy them!

They provide free and cheap childcare, and pay you for your children.(oh but thats just what we deserve, our soldiers are serving, we should get more) Having this childcare enables us to have MORE. AND you MUST be vaccinated by their schedule, meaning follow orders, or dont use our facilities. That will be taught to your kids as well.

They pay for ALL your pregnancy doctor appts...and birth. (this is great, its so expensive now days to birth babies) well besides my rant on why use a hospital( i will save that for you) This enables military families to stay ignorant and follow the other salmon up the river to spawn...babies are free in the military!!! BECAUSE THEY WANT YOUR CHILDREN!!! as soldiers.

ha...they take more than your time, they take your life, and all your dependents!

but damn, am i glad they pay for this stuff!

Military Wife-what you should know, Command.

I recently have had lots and lots of time spent listening to our command chain. We start with the sgt and move all the way up to company commander. I LIKE our chain. The 1st sgt and commander are very smart, and nice. But when it comes to the military, i have a bone to pick.

MALES!!! uhg....there.

So in this situation, *Jim*(we will call him, he is very close to me) has done something that has had his wife *Sally* worried sick. He has dissappeared overnight. She has been relocated by the military to a place without family and has been told if she needs help to call sgt. so she does obviously!! Turns out he has relapsed back into abusing substances. All of a sudden the "help" she wanted turns into punishments. he cant do his job he is flagged, he is required to detox for 3 days in barracks(guarded by none other than Jims co workers) and then is sent to ASAP where they tell him, attend meetings!! His command is nice enough to understand and so when he tests positive on a UA they suspend his punishment and unless he messes up, it wont come into effect. That is (as understood by Jim and Sally) 14days xtra duty and restriction.
(first a little side rant) RESTRICTION TO BARACKS...why the F is this punishment for a married person with children. Send ME please!!!!
extra duty is good but WHO did he hurt, military or Sally? so WHO should he pay back? oh i dunno maybe....SALLY?
(anyways back on topic)
so he is perfect. attend meetings, goes to work, is a good husband and father to his two little children.
THEN..things get "boring" and someone ticks Jim off...eventually he relapses. Sally who learned her lesson before, only called sgts to ask if he was there. he wasnt. time goes by and he actually goes AWOL...WTF!!!! so we know where this is going. Lucky for Jim and Sally(sarcasm present) commander and legal adviser are on leave, and so in one day Jim has extra duty and restriction(yes for a substance abuser) and to top it off...they take RANK!
(another side rant) taking rank...who does that hurt really? the guy?? or the family? and if he is an abuser...he obviously doesnt care THAT much at the time about his family, so this teaches him what....?
(lets get him on post and make him our Bi*ch instead of letting him go home and serve his responsibilities there after xtra duty. nothing like taking away the wife's relief, babysitter, chore helper AND money.)

So, Chain of Command...all the way up to whomever needs to know...THANK YOU! your old fashioned rules and books certainly make sure unruly soldiers AND their wives are punished for any stupidity on the member's part.

(yes i know the other argument on their side, its understandable, i just think they need to remember the family more than what they THINK will work punishment wise)

Those rules make it hard to stay with a soldier. especially a young one.